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December 10, 2004

Our Tree is Bigger than Your Tree

I don't want to mention any names but one of our neighbors brought over a very large christmas tree for us. After trimming it, it stands 16 feet tall in our living room. We restled it in through the side door and put it against the wall. Well after two nights we realized it was a bit too wide and it impeded the exit, in case of god forbid, a fire. So, after playing "Designer Guys" and rearranging the living room the tree ended up in front of the window, thus giving us more room width-wise. David and Keiko, other neighbors, show up at 6:14pm with enough sushi to sink a Japanese submarine. David forced me to drink a shot of Patron and soon we we were chopstickin' our way thru rice wrapped eel and yelling Kampai! Sumo wrestling was unavoidable. More drinks were consumed and then I'm on top of a ladder extended 18 feet mounting an angel with a power cord coming out of her, where the sun don't shine, to a 16 foot tree. The neighbors leave because they have tree envy and the lovely Sharon and I resume decorating the Mountain Charlie Tree with the lights, bulbs and ornaments from all of our travel destinations. I'm up near the top hanging a red bow and the ladder falls off of the beam it's rested on and I fall into the tree with the window catching me! I'm clung to the ladder all puckered up screaming HEEEEELLLLP! I crawl down, pull the ladder off of the tree and it props back up as I hear the tree's drink trickling down the furnace heat vent in the corner. I'm thinkin' there must be some bad Karma associated with this tree that was given to us. Perhaps, you'll be seeing me volunteering at the St. Francis Soup Kitchen in Santa Cruz this holiday. Public Service Anouncment: Please don't drink and get on a ladder and decorate a 16 foot tree this holiday season. Later skater.